Can this be LOVE?

" CAN THIS BE LOVE? If it’s not, why it hurts so much?"

Strict…Mysterious…Silent…

These were the traits that makes my interest flew unto you, but it all happen in a blink of an eye, yesterday you were just there but now I can’t even see a glimpse of your shadow.

Well, here’s my story… I have this unintelligible feeling towards a girl for quiet long time. I guess, what is striking to her is her simplicity. I just can’t describe this peculiar feeling when she first laid her tantalizing eyes on me. She had these two deep – penetrating eyes that somehow caught me off – guard, it has a glint that speaks of something I really don’t understand. It was so disturbing that the images of her are running to every brain cells every second of my daily life. It seems I was caught by a charm, enchanted by her dumb – founded innocence and bewitched by her smiles. Is this what they call LOVE? If this is it, this is my first time to fall into its bait.

It never crossed my mind to unveil this newborn feeling of mine to anyone, not to my parents, my buddies, my siblings, neither to her. I intend it to be just in the four corners of my room. I aimed it to be the most restricted file in my heart and mind’s memory. This will be my topmost secret.

But in a quick snapshot, every barrier I have set, every protection I have made has been utterly fragmented. It hurts my heart seeing every pieces of her slowly fading in thin air. Until now, it makes me wonder how a simple mistake tore away my well – built defenses. I really can’t understand how a mere single mistake turns my world upside down.

BOOOOOOOM!!!! It was like an atomic bomb that unexpectedly exploded… the worst of it all was… she was the first person who knew my feelings for her. She discovered it because of that stupid error. My closest friend and I were having a good time texting and I have come out to the point to ask for advice towards my unbearable emotions towards her then as I was about to send my message… I accidentally and unintentionally sent it to her, that’s the start of the problem.

After that, she seemed distant. She started to ignore my existence. She’s not the usual her who from time to time takes a look at me. She’s changed. She’s not the same person I like before, but there is something that remained to her, that same glitter in her eyes that speaks something incomprehensible.

Every time I stare at her, from a distance, I am wondering… would a day would come that we’ll be able to get closer again and say to her “Can we still be friends?” Until now, I am wondering, still wondering CAN THIS BE LOVE? If it’s not, why it hurts so much?