Can this be LOVE?

" CAN THIS BE LOVE? If it’s not, why it hurts so much?"

Strict…Mysterious…Silent…

These were the traits that makes my interest flew unto you, but it all happen in a blink of an eye, yesterday you were just there but now I can’t even see a glimpse of your shadow.

Well, here’s my story… I have this unintelligible feeling towards a girl for quiet long time. I guess, what is striking to her is her simplicity. I just can’t describe this peculiar feeling when she first laid her tantalizing eyes on me. She had these two deep – penetrating eyes that somehow caught me off – guard, it has a glint that speaks of something I really don’t understand. It was so disturbing that the images of her are running to every brain cells every second of my daily life. It seems I was caught by a charm, enchanted by her dumb – founded innocence and bewitched by her smiles. Is this what they call LOVE? If this is it, this is my first time to fall into its bait.

It never crossed my mind to unveil this newborn feeling of mine to anyone, not to my parents, my buddies, my siblings, neither to her. I intend it to be just in the four corners of my room. I aimed it to be the most restricted file in my heart and mind’s memory. This will be my topmost secret.

But in a quick snapshot, every barrier I have set, every protection I have made has been utterly fragmented. It hurts my heart seeing every pieces of her slowly fading in thin air. Until now, it makes me wonder how a simple mistake tore away my well – built defenses. I really can’t understand how a mere single mistake turns my world upside down.

BOOOOOOOM!!!! It was like an atomic bomb that unexpectedly exploded… the worst of it all was… she was the first person who knew my feelings for her. She discovered it because of that stupid error. My closest friend and I were having a good time texting and I have come out to the point to ask for advice towards my unbearable emotions towards her then as I was about to send my message… I accidentally and unintentionally sent it to her, that’s the start of the problem.

After that, she seemed distant. She started to ignore my existence. She’s not the usual her who from time to time takes a look at me. She’s changed. She’s not the same person I like before, but there is something that remained to her, that same glitter in her eyes that speaks something incomprehensible.

Every time I stare at her, from a distance, I am wondering… would a day would come that we’ll be able to get closer again and say to her “Can we still be friends?” Until now, I am wondering, still wondering CAN THIS BE LOVE? If it’s not, why it hurts so much?

"KEEP PROTECTED"

My insanity towards this person starts when he lend me his handkerchief, that he let me wipe and dries my tears

goodbye. At first I just saw him as a friend but the tiny spark of interest that I have in him grew into a torch of

admiration. He was the usual kind of guy that would open himself to anyone who is need that eventhough it

would be unfair to his part but still the helping continues. Being caring is one of his best asset that makes me

fall into an ocean of him. He began acting as my knight and shining armor at times the uncertainties of life

covers me, My hope when I am lost in the midst of problems, My strenght as the delimma of the world weakens

me, He is my man.

As the days walks to weeks, weeks crawls to months and months runs to a year. My life seems incomplete

without his presence. The happy moments that I have with him makes me think that destiny has been always on

my side.

But everything collapsed into pieces as I plucked at the grapevine a news that he had found his missing rib to

someone, not on me unfortunately. My heart had been destroyed, torn into fragments and I don't have the

courage to picked it up again cause the pain became unbearable and totally tormenting.

My breathing seems to be heavier everytime I see them together and the more I was suffocated by the agony.

How will I carry this burden if the person who is giving me the pain doesn't even know what I feel.

Move on I always told myself but my heart keeps on telling me "how?" If I can't be able to erase even his smile

on my mind, It seems to be it has been injected to the cell of my brain.

I continue my life without telling him what I feel, without giving the idea that he was torturing me emotionally

unawares, having my heart crushed for every scenario that I see them together.

Then the time comes that what I am fearing of. Wedding bells was about to ring for the both of them, they will

be getting married. For everybody, that was a call for celebration but for me: my other foot has been buried on

the cemetery already - this is the end.

As their wedding was about to takes place my heart seems to be digging its own tomb. It takes for me a hudnred

times of thinking before concluding he is not for me and will never be mine.

I decided to go out of town hoping to fully diminish this stupidness that I have. Yeah I love him but that would

remain on my memory forever and telling him will not be part of my agenda,days from now he will raise a

family with someone and chained with her forever.

As the wedding takes place, Flowers , white, red, yellow and of different colors decorated the whole sorrounding

of the Church that the wedding will take place,the wedding started with the train of the participants for the

wedding but there was a problem for the groom was missing, Everybody started to panic of both parties.

Then I hear the sound of a gunshot. Upon hearing it a solid thing bumps into my heart. Then everybody ran

including me..I ran to my house cause it was just meters away. Then I saw the groom at the doorsteps of my

house. My heart leaps into joy that he did not show up to the wedding and some kinda lunatic that interrupts

the ceremony. He hugged me tight and I felt his longing ache in his heart. It seems that when our body feels

each other, time stood still, I wish I can have you forever my heart whispers. Then I suddenly confront him ,

asking him why he didn't show up to the wedding. He said these words.
Boy: " I remember way back, I let a girl use my handkerchief to wept the tears on her eyes, I really love that

girl that I always act as if her knight and shining armor, being her savior but she never sees my worth. She just

left me and I don't know if she will be back."
My cheeks turns to as red as blood as I hear the words...but my thoughts was interrupted with the following

statements.
Boy: I don't want to be alone that's why I commit to someone, but eventhough I already have my soon to be

wife, I always see the face of that innocent girl, her eyes, her smiles, I can't moved on living without her by my

side I want her to be KEEP PROTECTED"
As I hear these words I hugged him tight and tells him how much I love him but he just disappear on thin air...

THe guy shot himself dead on the day of their wedding and for the girl she was confine to the City's Mental

Sanitarium still longing for a love that has been so perfect as it may but has been lost forever....

THE END
SimplyeaRth :)
Author

My Great Secret

Good at heart…. Handsome by features…. Humbly intelligent….

This were the traits that I have found in you, from every stare that you throws at me that almost knocks me off-guard, for every smile that you give me that dispersed the shade of black and gray of my day, from your voice that always assures me that everything will going to be ok, but how will you know my feelings and admiration to you that if I tell you things will changed cause you are my friend…

I have started this quiet admiration to you when you were just on your first years of your High School days, I am not so showy with my feelings for you because you are so “strikto, suplado, maldito” so I just kill this infatuation that I have for you…

Years had passed as I come back to this institution you have grown up from a young child to a heartthrob man, those childish acts had disappeared, and those “binata” actions had also diminished. You see me as your big brother and a friend but I see you more than that. I will never ask for more than a friend or for us to be a lover…That was so disgusting!!! All I am asking is you to be close to my heart…

During the days of our Division Secondary Schools Press-Conference I am hesitant to get close to you cause I don’t want to get hurt again by your rejection but still I did all I can muster to reach you inner core and at the end of the DSSPC you became victorious…

Digos City is one of the most memorable places with moments with you. Those “laag-laag” with just the two of us, the net surfing, going to church with just the two of us, even the sleeping in the night that we have to be side by side, whew that was nothing to you but for me that was a memory worth reminiscing. Even we haven’t conquered the RSSPC still God give me a chance to know you deeper more than as I have expected.

Maybe it’s just because I am having this feelings towards you because of the pain that I am carrying, the burden that Christian Paul had done to me. Maybe it was too late for me to confess this and I will never going to tell you because as what the common phrase goes by “Forget the times he walked you by, Forget the times he made you cry, Remember now you are not the same. Forget the times he held you hands, forget the sweet things if you can, forget the times and don’t pretend, Remember he was just your FRIEND.”

The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go and knowing when to say goodbye. But I am still happy that you have let me feel this that even you don’t have a queue I know you will soon know… Guess am down to my end whatever may happen MY GREAT SECRET will never be known and I will always love you until my life ends…